OF BULLIES AND CHILD LABOR LAWS

   Many people hold cherished memories from their schooldays when they were kids. The fun stuff they did with their best friends and how great it was to be a carefree kid enjoying school shaped who they are today. Their faces light up as they recount hilarious experiences, favorite teachers, pep rallies and dances.

   I envy these people; that was not my experience. I didn’t hate school, but it was no picnic either.

   I was a good student and got decent grades. In retrospect, I could have been an honor student had I applied myself.

   But that wasn’t my goal in school. My chief aim was to maintain a low profile, not work too hard but still accomplish my tasks and go home.

   Unfortunately, life is seldom that simple in the world of Kid-dom. I loved those times “under the radar”, but they never lasted long. 

   No. There always seemed to be someone who was somehow bothered by the fact that I was just enjoying my day and they felt the need to intervene.

   Another trait that I’ve always had was that I was a loner. When you’re a kid, the term is “weird.” I had friends of course, but sitting by myself was just as fun for me as being with friends. Others wanted to be popular, but it was never my goal. It went against the grain of the “low profile” thing.

   For some unknown reason, when certain people observed someone quietly working, and not bothering anyone, it seemed to set off a red flag to them. Here was an oddity they needed to investigate and harass.

   I was a bully magnet. I can imagine the audible beeps going out from the bully’s radar, and speeding up when it zeroed in on me, reading a book in the corner.

   The bully would grin and elbow his buddy and point to me. And it was on.

   One case in particular is vivid in my mind; because it was the last occurrence.

   Neil C. moved to our school from Texas. He was an athlete and loved football. The first thing I noticed was his southern drawl. I heard it before on television but he was the first real person I met who really had one.

   I’m not one who can remember four decades ago in excruciating detail. So I can’t say how it all happened exactly.

   But Neil started giving me trouble and found he got attention for doing it.

   It was my first experience with injustice. I was born and raised here, and along comes the new guy who talks funny, hassling me. I felt betrayed by my classmates who knew me longer than they knew him.

   They were on board though, because he was a cool football player and I was the nerdy bookworm loner.

   This comes to mind since there is much talk in the news about anti-bullying laws and tragic stories of kids committing suicide after being harassed.

   I have to object when the only solution to a problem seems to be a political one. Pass a law. Outlaw the behavior and it will go away. Yeah, right.

   Social engineers can’t seem to grasp that human nature exists, and their well-intentioned legislation may punish it, but it won’t stop it.

   Sorry. Gravity, the sun rising in the east and the nature of an eleven year old boy are not affected by the law you pass.

   I raise this issue because back in the mid seventies, anti bullying legislation never occurred to anyone. Nor should it have.

   Back to the story. Neil continued with the harassment and the playground challenges, I continued with attempts at dodging him. He was making my life rougher than it should have been at my age. I remember sneaking out of school, hoping he wouldn’t see me leave. 

   And then something happened. I reached a breaking point and was pushed across a line that I didn’t know had been drawn.

   I had enough and tired of being pushed around, of the taunting and the laughter.

   I stood up and surprised even myself. Inside, I switched from prey to  predator. I was gunning for Neil; actually looking for him for the confrontation. I wanted it badly.

   I was brave but not stupid. I would probably get beat. It didn’t matter. There would be some pain involved, and maybe some blood (Hopefully, not an ambulance). I was ready for it, maybe could get a few shots in at least.  

   I was on the prowl to settle the score and it felt great! Let him sneak out of school. I was looking for him.

   As stated earlier, human nature is what it is. And the nature of bullies is cowardice. He was after me because I posed the least threat. He spouted off, knowing I’d retreat. And I did; for awhile.

   But when I turned around to face him, he went off to a less threatening target. He didn’t really want a confrontation, he needed attention.

   The whole point of this is; that well meaning politicians want to neutralize the bully. I would say “NO! Don’t!”

   If I ran across Neil today, I would shake his hand. He did a great service for me, although not crazy about it at the time.

   I needed to exit my shell and stand up. He helped me to do it. The following school years were much easier. I knew how to handle the reality of a challenger, meet him head on, as early as possible. He goes away, and I feel confident.

   Bullies serve a purpose. It is like the egg that a chick struggles against as it’s being hatched. It builds strength and stamina. If someone breaks the eggshell for the chick, then you have a weakened chick, unable to face adversities later. 
   We should avoid removing resistance so we can feel like a hero.  

    I’m not discounting the suicides reported. It is heartbreaking. But we need less social media and more confidence-building parents and home environments.

   Bullying is prevalent because the nature of social media is easily confrontational.

   It is not unlike the child labor laws that have been enacted. It was necessary when parents kept their kids home to work the fields.

   We are not the agrarian society that we were at one time. Now these same laws prevent a sixteen year old from having a job at a fast food restaurant. He may work a four hour shift behind a counter, not sixteen in the fields.

   He will learn to communicate with people of all ages, serve with a humble attitude, and learn to listen and take instruction. He may even empty the stinky trash. But he won’t die.

   It is not the government’s role to protect citizens from necessary and beneficial experiences simply because an over-protective nanny bureaucrat begins to fret.

   These same well-intentioned motives will deprive him of experience, a work ethic and pride that comes from having money earned legitimately.

   We now have a generation who feel the need to do very little because of this coddling.

   Beware of feel good solutions that prove to be ultimately stupid. We don’t need to feel good all the time. A little discomfort can be good for growth and our character.